Every now and then I get freaked out about church planting. Yesterday, I got a text from our executive pastor. He said he wants to meet this week and let me know our church’s final decision regarding their commitment toward church planting in Portland. I should be so excited. I’ve prayed for this for a long time. However, I got really scared.
Here’s the cool thing - I got to have a little moment with God. I started walking around my house, aware of all of the certainty I would be trading for uncertainty. I asked myself, “why are you doing this again?” If Jesus is not in the picture, I would not have an answer. However, when Jesus is in the picture, I have my only answer.
I looked outside of our upstairs window and got real with God for a minute. I said, “Jesus, the only reason I’m going to Portland is because I love you, and you are worth it.” I think I would be attracted to Portland because of the need. I think I could get excited about Portland because of the opportunity. None of those things are strong enough to make me actually go. In such a real way, it’s only my love of Jesus that will cause me to jump.
I kind of like that. I would have never gotten to that place of reliance on my own. It shows me something real is happening. Jesus is not enough. He’s more than enough. He’s everything. I’m mad at myself for every moment I’ve ever forgotten that.